So many articles I've been reading about how tough it is to be a woman - to find the perfect partner, to excel the most covetous of professional positions.
Sheryl Sandberg, Harvard Alumnus and MBA and CEO of Facebook's TED talk:
Gosh, I just recently read another article that talked about how women really couldn't have it all. It was written by a high level political committee member who realized that it was impossible to sustain an insane (by normal people standards, but typical for her position) working schedule and balance family life. She left her position, even though some people thought she was crazy to do so.
This subject has also come to my attention many times before - if not as a concerned woman interested in working in international development, but also as a graduate student. A few months ago, I listened to the Dean of Graduate Studies at UNC talk about what it took to make tenure at a public university. Though his speech was mostly un-useful because his privilege discredited his message, he really alienated his female audience when they asked him about work-family life balance. Of course, he got to where he is now because his wife stayed at home and took care of the children while he was taking on more and more responsibility in the work place. And, of course, he really did not do enough to acknowledge this, only saying that "You should do what's expected of you", "There are no tricks to getting tenure in academia", and that he made smart choices that inevitably brought him closer to a high-level administrative position within the university. Suffice to say, several of my fellow female graduate students left his talk dissatisfied.
My own thoughts on this are that women are achieving more than they have in the past, in terms of educational attainment and attaining high paying jobs. In this respect, I don't believe women underachieve next to their male counterparts. But admittedly, if we use elite positions like management in businesses or the head of state as a benchmark, there's a way to go. I wholeheartedly agree there is a glass ceiling for women - whether of their own doing or of systematic disadvantage. The incentives just aren't balanced for women, as they tend not to give up their family for their career. And there's nothing wrong with that! I think for all women who listen to Sheryl Sandberg, they need to understand that ambition and career promulgating comes at a cost - spending time with family. When Sandberg urges future generations of women to break traditional gender role expectations, she does mention that women should make their partners fulfill their end of domestic duties. But, if both people are career-minded, the household begins to look differently - it's one that outsources its child care and domestic duties, i.e., you're going to need a lot of hired help, at least until the child is old enough to be semi-independent. Child care is expensive! And not everyone can afford to do that. I don't think it's realistic to diminish the sacrifice (and ultimately, reward) that comes with deciding to have a family, and I'm not sure we should be fooling women into thinking that they can have it all if they just work their asses off.
Sheryl Sandberg, Harvard Alumnus and MBA and CEO of Facebook's TED talk:
- "Believe in yourself and negotiate for yourself. Own your own success."
- "Make your partner a real partner", as in share the division of labor. (Duh.)
- "Don't leave before you leave", don't back out of the professional world because you have a child, don't slacken your career aspirations in anticipation for being a mother.
Gosh, I just recently read another article that talked about how women really couldn't have it all. It was written by a high level political committee member who realized that it was impossible to sustain an insane (by normal people standards, but typical for her position) working schedule and balance family life. She left her position, even though some people thought she was crazy to do so.
This subject has also come to my attention many times before - if not as a concerned woman interested in working in international development, but also as a graduate student. A few months ago, I listened to the Dean of Graduate Studies at UNC talk about what it took to make tenure at a public university. Though his speech was mostly un-useful because his privilege discredited his message, he really alienated his female audience when they asked him about work-family life balance. Of course, he got to where he is now because his wife stayed at home and took care of the children while he was taking on more and more responsibility in the work place. And, of course, he really did not do enough to acknowledge this, only saying that "You should do what's expected of you", "There are no tricks to getting tenure in academia", and that he made smart choices that inevitably brought him closer to a high-level administrative position within the university. Suffice to say, several of my fellow female graduate students left his talk dissatisfied.
My own thoughts on this are that women are achieving more than they have in the past, in terms of educational attainment and attaining high paying jobs. In this respect, I don't believe women underachieve next to their male counterparts. But admittedly, if we use elite positions like management in businesses or the head of state as a benchmark, there's a way to go. I wholeheartedly agree there is a glass ceiling for women - whether of their own doing or of systematic disadvantage. The incentives just aren't balanced for women, as they tend not to give up their family for their career. And there's nothing wrong with that! I think for all women who listen to Sheryl Sandberg, they need to understand that ambition and career promulgating comes at a cost - spending time with family. When Sandberg urges future generations of women to break traditional gender role expectations, she does mention that women should make their partners fulfill their end of domestic duties. But, if both people are career-minded, the household begins to look differently - it's one that outsources its child care and domestic duties, i.e., you're going to need a lot of hired help, at least until the child is old enough to be semi-independent. Child care is expensive! And not everyone can afford to do that. I don't think it's realistic to diminish the sacrifice (and ultimately, reward) that comes with deciding to have a family, and I'm not sure we should be fooling women into thinking that they can have it all if they just work their asses off.
